Meghan

I threw her a party
and in my mind there was
so much laughter
the little twinkling
of bells and the louder
ruddy sound
of tin cans in the
rain.

We all walked along the street
so many of us, seven in all,
bundled in coats and scarves
flying with the passing of cars,
it was twilight, a somber
autumnal pink
and I couldn't breathe
with your body against mine,
and hers against yours.

It was a party
where I wrote your name
on the cake in blue gel
and messed up so
the 'M' was too big, 
and the rest of your
letters too small.
But it was 
something.

We stood in the wind on the stoop,
all huddled round like penguins against
the wind to light the candles,
In the dark the little flames 
illuminated our faces 
which were cracked with 
shiny teeth, smiling.

All of us 
together as we sang
horribly out of tune and 
too quickly,
knowing with the 
pressing heat of our bodies
and the promise of a new
year,
we could hold onto each other
and not be blown away
in the night.